Books

I’ve debated about what to do with some of my older blog posts and I decided to go in and update a few like this one. As I’ve been on an evolving journey of faith deconstruction over the last year, the authors and kinds of books that I read have changed. Awhile back I had a male beta reader for my own memoir and I asked him, “Do you think men will read this book?” His response stuck with me.

“I think men should read this book.” he said. “Whether they will or not speaks more to the unfortunate fact that people view books written by men as books written for everyone, and books written by women as books written for women.”

I took a long, hard look at my own shelves and realized how many straight cis white male authors were represented and how little representation I had of anyone else. One purchase and one library hold at a time, I began a shift. I looked for BIPOC authors, queer authors, authors with disabilities, and female authors. I shed all the books by authors that were non-affirming, complementarian, and authors that showed little intention of doing the work of dismantling power, privilege, and inequity. My shelves looked very different than when I started.

I still have my Goodreads reading list goals, but I’m going much slower these days. The books I read dig in to deeper issues and that work takes time.

I’ve always had a thing about books. A self care Saturday in a normal world would be visiting Powell’s City of Books in downtown Portland and browsing for hours in all my favorite sections. Many people know that I’ve fantasized about working at Powell’s someday and helping place that perfect fit book in someone’s hand. I get it from my dad. If he’s in town we’ll head to Powell’s, set a meeting place, give ourselves an hour or two, and say “See ya later.” Usually we text each other asking for more time. In the end, we set our stacks of books on the counter and on the drive home we’ll decide which one we’re most excited about. I keep having to add new bookshelves to my household furniture.

My reading habits also mimic my dad’s in the sense that we’re always going back and forth between multiple books. There are some books I can’t just read start to finish, so I’ll read a chapter and then switch to something different. I keep rotating through until maybe a month has gone by and I’ve finished 4 books simultaneously. I read books about running, spiritual growth, social justice, teaching, parenting, race, feminism, memoirs, self care, mindset, occasional fiction, and for awhile I read about raising a puppy for our kids’ 2020 Christmas surprise. My list of recommendations are all over the place but all have meant something to me in a different way.

Here you go, and this is just a start. Enjoy!

Memoirs

All of these stories have impacted me deeply. Changing the representation on my shelves and the stories that I’m reading and listening to meant broadening my awareness for the lived experiences of others in the world. I learned how lethal non-affirming theology is to the queer community from Tyler Krumland. I learned the beauty of connecting with your roots and with the land from Kaitlin B. Curtice. I learned that it’s not just about representation, it’s about shifting the dynamics of entire organizations to elevate BIPOC voices from Austin Channing Brown. I learned how to find my inner cheetah and do hard things from Glennon Doyle. The collection of works edited by Alice Wong taught me that truly seeing people with disabilities isn’t about accommodations, but it’s about imagining an accessible world that magnifies the abilities of everyone. Rachel Held Evans, Nadia Bolz Weber, and Sarah Bessey made me feel seen in my journey of evolving faith. Adrienne Martini showed me how you can channel your angst into doing something about it. And Ani Difranco will always speak to my soul whether it’s in music form or written form.

Maya Angelou taught us that we can’t do better until we know better. But we can’t know better until we listen to the stories that need to be heard. These are those stories.

Mental Health

Did I add two Brené Brown books to this list? Yes, yes I did. And I imagine that when I’m done with her entire collection, I’ll probably want to write an entire post dedicated to her work. For now I’ll say that “Daring Greatly” hit me at a time when I was letting go of a morning routine that involved daily Bible study. I wanted to set the Bible aside for awhile, but I wanted to read something that would spark my emotional health and Brené was the perfect solution. I learned how to be vulnerable and authentic and brave. You may also notice that there are quite a few books about trauma on this list. A few years ago, learning about trauma changed my life. I’ve written before about how books like, “Fostering Resilient Learners,” and “No Drama Discipline” changed my teaching and parenting, but understanding trauma for myself in books like “What Happened to You?” that focuses on the long-term impact of trauma, and “Trauma Stewardship” that addresses vicarious trauma, was what carried me through changing careers in the midst of deconstructing faith inside the global trauma cloud of the pandemic. Finally, Lori Gottleib normalized going to therapy and Alexi Pappas normalized mental health injuries for competitive athletes.

Faith and Deconstruction

My shelves are full of books I have yet to read related to faith and deconstruction, but this is where I started. I started with unraveling the interpretation of the Bible that I had been taught my entire life. I often joke about how ironic it is that during times when I’ve wanted to walk away from the Bible entirely, Rob Bell and Rachel Held Evans have kept me coming back for more. I have written about how “God and the Gay Christian” was the first book I read that pushed up against the six “clobber verses” in the Bible that called homosexuality a sin. While I don’t line up with everything that Matthew Vines writes about, I still recommend it for folks wanting to understand those six verses through an affirming lens. “Jesus and John Wayne” opened my eyes to the harm that has come out of evangelicalism for decades. The beautiful and insightful collection of essays in “The Myth of the American Dream” gave me pause to think with intention about the way I spend my time and money. I go slow with these books, and have so many more on my list, but I wanted to focus on sharing the ones I’ve read already.

Race

Once again, I have so many more on my shelf, but with each book I take my time learning, understanding, growing, and searching on how I can do better.

Fiction for Thought

These are stories about race, abortion, adoption, colonization, police brutality, identity, history, and so much more. Read. Them. All.

Science Fiction

I recently tweeted about how my entry into the world of Science Fiction was The Tripods Trilogy that I read in elementary school, and I was surprised to see how many others had stumbled into the same books. My brain is drawn to the expanse of imagination that happens in these future worlds, and now I want to go back and re-read all of them through a faith deconstruction lens.

Fiction for Escape

I have learned that I need to balance the heavy stuff with lighter stuff because I enjoy reading and want to breeze through books on occasion. Curtis Sittenfeld is hands down one of my favorite fiction authors of all time, and I especially love her collection of short stories “You Think It, I’ll Say It.” The Sloan Krause brewery mystery series that takes place in Leavenworth, WA by Ellie Alexander is so good for the soul that I prescribe it to readers looking for self care. Laini Taylor is an author local to Portland, OR and her “Daughter of Smoke and Bone” fantasy trilogy is one of the only fiction sets I’ve read multiple times. Years ago, I picked up the first book in the “No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency” series and I lost track of how many there were around the 20th book or so, but I always enjoy the pace and humor of the stories in this series. Finally, there are times when you just need good literature. “The Shadow of the Wind,” “The Dutch House,” and “Less” are exactly that.

I can’t begin to tell you how much I enjoyed updating this post with a more diverse selection of books, and with books that more accurately represent who I am today. Please let me know if you take me up on one of these recommendations, what you think of it, and other books you recommend. Enjoy the journey, fellow travelers.

Previous
Previous

Rest

Next
Next

On Drinking