The Power of a Story
Several years ago I was pushing Alexa in a swing at the park and I started chatting with the mom pushing her daughter in the next swing over. We made small talk about the weather, motherhood, and our day and towards the end I asked her daughter’s name. “Story,” she replied, “like a storybook.” When I asked the significance she said, “I’ve just always loved stories. They can be powerful.” She was right.
Powerful Stories
A Powerful Education Story
One of my former school districts did a lot of work around equity and closing the opportunity gap for students of color. We dissected data by ethnicity and spent many meetings looking at percentages and graphs as we created a plan of action. These meetings were helpful, but real change didn’t happen until we brought in former students to hear their stories. Once a year, several high school students from a Latinx student group came to talk to us and share about their experiences in elementary school. Many of the students in the group had been part of our ESL (English as a Second Language) program. They talked about how the label “ESL” at times would feel demeaning, in that it seemed like no matter how intelligent they were, their level of English defined how they were viewed by others. They shared what it was like to line up for pull-out ESL services- all of the students of color standing up to leave the room while all the white students stayed behind. And they shared about returning to the classroom only to find that while they were gone they had missed out on the Science experiment, Math game, or even the next chapter in the class read aloud. Their stories changed the way we ran this program in our school. ESL teachers began co-teaching with classroom teachers, using language strategies to enhance learning for all students, and ensuring that our students of color felt valued.
Just a few years ago I had the privilege of sitting with a veteran teacher and a first-year teacher as they reminisced over lunch about the start of our dual language program. This new teacher had been a student when that program began. She cried as she shared her story about what it was like to walk into a classroom as a fifth grade student where Spanish was not only accepted, but embraced, encouraged and affirmed. It was the first time she felt like she could embrace her true identity in a school setting. It was the first time she felt valued.
We can spend hours in meetings about closing the opportunity gap, but the numbers we look at don’t tell the powerful story about the feelings and identities of the students behind those numbers.
A Powerful Abortion Story
I came across a quote a few weeks ago from former presidential candidate nominee Pete Buttigieg about reproductive rights that opened my eyes to a piece of this conversation that I had previously been unaware of. As he was confronted with whether or not he approved of late-term abortion, Buttigieg reframed the conversation by explaining what really happens in these rare occurrences:
Let's put ourselves in the shoes of a woman in that situation. If it's that late in your pregnancy, then almost by definition, you've been expecting to carry it to term. Families then get the most devastating medical news of their lifetime, something about the health or the life of the mother or viability of the pregnancy that forces them to make an impossible, unthinkable choice. And the bottom line is as horrible as that choice is, that decision is not going to be made any better, medically or morally, because the government is dictating how that decision should be made.
When I shared Buttigieg’s quote, a friend reached out to thank me, and she shared a piece of her own story. She shared about when she had been in the exact situation he had described, a fatal diagnosis for her child in utero. Her baby would die within two weeks, yet she had four days to decide what to do because of the late-term abortion laws in her state. You know what stood out to me the most about her story? She started it with, “Our first son was born at 24 weeks 15 years ago.” He was not a statistic. He was her son. His name is Noah.
Women are being demonized and called murderers in conversations about abortion, yet these women are sitting behind closed doors with their doctors sorting through the pain and agony of decisions they have to make about their child, and understanding that as they make this choice, they are becoming part of a statistic used against them on the Senate floor.
A Powerful Coming Out Story
Last summer, author, speaker, and inspirer Jen Hatmaker gave space on her podcast for her daughter, Sydney, to share her story about searching for her identity as a lesbian in a Christian world and family. Sydney shared what it was like to search on Google for what the church believes about homosexuality, only to discover that her mom had been quoted as believing and teaching that Christians should be “loving, but non-affirming.” For many years, she closed herself to the possibility of sharing her true identity and sexuality with her family. Jen has since been vocal about her affirming stance toward the LGBTQ community, but Jen and Sydney cried together on the podcast as they re-lived the pain of those years.
I met with a friend last weekend who had a similar struggle. One night when she was young, her dad casually commented on a news story about the AIDS epidemic in the gay community with a slur and a dismissiveness that made his feelings and views quite clear. Again, it took years for her to open up about her sexuality. When she finally did, her best friend abandoned her out of fear of being assumed a lesbian by association.
“Why do you think your dad said those things?” I had asked. “Why do you think your best friend reacted that way?”
She responded without hesitation. “Because of the church.” She looked at me after a pause and said, “I am deeply convinced that one book is the root of all evil.”
“What book?”
“The Bible.”
It was amazing to me that a book that has kept me anchored for nearly an hour every morning for the last several months could be such a symbol of destruction in someone else’s life. But I get it. Rejection by the church, and rejection by society as a result, has caused my friend to lose hope in the redemption brought by the stories in the Bible. So often the LGBTQ community is given the message from Christians, “This book is not for you. You are not worthy.” I think the response that seems appropriate to this judgement would be, “Well, what makes you worthy?”
A Powerful COVID-19 Story
I have watched as the numbers of people locally and globally with this virus go up, and yet people that do not have a personal connection with it have a hard time with the statistics. “There are so many healthy people. What about them?” they ask. What they are really saying is, “This virus hasn’t touched me or anyone I know. Why should I be concerned?”
Early on in the pandemic, a colleague of mine shared with me that her brother had been hospitalized with COVID-19. He fought it and overcame, but there were two days when he thought his life was over. She shared his story, about how he thought a backyard family birthday party would be harmless, and about how others without symptoms brought the virus to several people at the party. The story shaped the way I approached social distancing and wearing masks in public.
Early this month, President Donald Trump tested positive for COVID-19. We collectively held our breath and watched as he went to the hospital and got the best treatments available from a team of doctors that gave regular updates to the public. As he left the hospital, he tweeted, “I will be leaving the great Walter Reed Medical Center today at 6:30 P.M. Feeling really good! Don’t be afraid of Covid. Don’t let it dominate your life. We have developed, under the Trump Administration, some really great drugs & knowledge. I feel better than I did 20 years ago!” As the president was defeating COVID-19, Olympic athlete Kara Goucher was saying goodbye to her grandfather that was dying of the same virus. In response to the president’s tweet, Goucher wrote, “As my grandfather lies in a bed struggling to take his last breaths due to COVID, I'm not sure I've ever read anything more offensive or tone deaf in my life.” Her grandfather did not have access to the same treatments that the president received. Anderson Cooper pulled Goucher into a CNN interview and gave her the chance to tell her grandfather’s story. She described how her grandfather stepped in to help raise her and her siblings when her father was killed by a drunk driver when Goucher was four years old. Her grandfather inspired her to become a long distance runner.
When we use statistics to try to diminish the impact of COVID-19, we are missing a critical piece. The stories of the people who struggle to fight through, and the stories of the people who aren’t able to overcome. The stories of how people could have acted more safely, how death could have been prevented, and why caution is necessary. Real people are getting this virus, and each person has a story.
A Powerful Story that Remains Untold
About a week ago, a friend shared a video with me of her story. It was a story of a journey of pain and heartache, and she had created the video as part of her healing process. It was a story that I knew many women would connect with. She wanted my thoughts, and specifically asked if she thought it should be shared. “Yes,” I replied immediately (with tears streaming down my own face). “You must share this.” Not only would it help others know how to love her better, but it would help us love ourselves better. Somehow, there is healing in seeing other women overcome hardship. Somehow there is another depth of connection that women reach in authentic emotion.
Telling Your Story
Over the summer I wrote a memoir of prayer. I unloaded many stories that together tell a greater story of how God guided me on a path toward where I am today. I found healing in places where I didn’t know I still carried pain. I found answers to questions I didn’t know I had. Whether you are documenting your own journey, or sharing it with someone else, your story is you. Your story has value. It is your identity. It will have an impact. Your story has power. It has the power to compel. It has the power to captivate. it has the power to encourage. It has the power to inspire.
Share your story.
